While hanging out with my younger three children last night, I heard my 9-year-old son say something I have thought a million times but never had the courage to say out loud.

He was busy putting the final touches on a new Lego ship with his little brother, when his 7-year-old sister started telling him something apparently unrelated to the project at hand. Without even looking up or interrupting the process of snapping small plastic pieces together, he replied very matter-of-factly, “I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am going to act like I know exactly what you are talking about.”

Undeterred, she kept talking, he kept building and I chuckled inside.

While that is the kind of advice that should be standard in pre-marital counseling (the concept – not actually saying it), it is not great advice for business. Like not quite hearing what someone has said and replying with a smile and nod (a la Seinfeld’s low talker and agreeing to wear the puffy shirt), only pretending to understand your clients’ needs can be deadly.

It is much better and far less embarrassing to ask a client to clarify or even repeat their request than to grab the highlights of your conversation and run with it. This is especially true if you have performed a similar task for them before. Our clients care about the details – and so should we. Everyone understands an honest mistake, but it is much harder to explain the fact that you were simply not paying attention.

So don’t fake it. Make sure you know what your clients need and then go above and beyond – be proactive, suggest new ideas and do your best to blow them away with how well you understand their needs.

Oh, and that advice goes for personal relationships as well. You think clients get mad if you are not paying attention?

Dave Fiore is the founder and CEO of davemail.

At about 6:00 p.m. on Tuesday, I tweeted that I was about to head home and was looking forward to being greeted by my youngest three children (ages 9, 7 and 3) because they still run to me with open arms and big smiles when I get home.

After a few minutes of light traffic and sports-talk radio, I was ready for my hugs and “I love yous.” What I got was something far more nefarious. Sending their mother to the front yard to distract me, my three little angels did indeed run to greet me – dressed in swimsuits and armed with an array of water weapons firing at will. With little regard for my sharp, business-casual attire and leatherette portfolio, they proceeded to drench me, much to their delight (as well as their mom’s, based on her snickers).

Running a small business can put us in similar situations at times. We walk in the office door with high expectations only to be attacked with email, voicemail, tweets and updates that can quickly throw our expectations for a loop.

 So what do we do about it?

 I am a little embarrassed to admit that there was a time that I would have gotten a little put out by the water attack incident. I was tired, my clothes were getting wet and I probably was not looking too cool in front of the neighbors.

 Thankfully, I have grown to understand that water dries, clothes get washed and my neighbors already know I’m not cool. Plus, I certainly didn’t want to disappoint my little army (that had been waiting to ambush me for a while I later learned) with anything but feigned fear and indignation and lots of slow running. OK, that part was real.

 I am grateful for all my clients, even if what they need at the moment is a little inconvenient or makes me shift my day around a little.

 I would hate to imagine what life would be like without them.

When a client presents a task that challenges your ability to deliver, you can politely decline and refer them to a competitor, hurriedly add a staff member or seek help from a trusted independent contractor.

Clever copy, creative logos (and really cool email newsletters) often are the work of talented individuals or companies hired by managers of companies in need of a specific skill set. While these stealth specialists often remain anonymous to the client, they play a vital role in more local projects than you might expect.

So how do you decide if outsourcing is your best option and then choose the right provider?

• Determine exactly what you need. This may seem obvious, but understanding the details of your project will help ensure that you find the best outsourcing option. Then communicate those details clearly.
• Establish a realistic budget. Everything sounds easy around the conference table, but take a hard look at the how long it will really take and what may be needed to complete the project.
• Choose between a per-hour project and retainer relationship. A project-based assignment is clearly defined and may be better for the short-term, while a monthly retainer allows greater flexibility.
• Set clear financial parameters. The contractor should never spring extra charges on a client, and the client should resist the temptation to add to a job already agreed upon – without expecting to pay for it.
• Allow time for a learning curve. Even your employees need some time to learn the ins and outs of your operation and your business culture. Build this into your schedule.
• Provide a reliable contact person. Even if you are the one doing the hiring, give your contractor the “best” person to reach when they have questions or need information.
• Know who you are hiring. Check references, see samples and ask around. Make sure they know what they’re doing, people like working with them and that they deliver on time.
• Look beyond the hourly rate. Don’t be scared off by a contractor’s hourly fee. Remember that there are no payroll benefits or taxes, and in most cases, you are getting a level of experience and expertise you could never afford in a full-time employee. A bargain for sure.

It is a lesson that business owners and managers learn quickly: There is simply more to do than time to do it. And if that isn’t the case, then something is probably wrong.

I can already hear all the Franklin planners popping open and the chants that proper time management is the key to happiness and world peace. But it’s more than that. It’s about balancing our daily activities so that we are providing flawless customer service, pursuing new business and attending to the tiny details that keep our doors open – all in a fluid environment that demands thinking on our feet and personal discipline.

It simply is too easy for an entire day to go by without moving the business essentials forward. So what do we do to guard against spending time on good stuff, but not the best stuff? And how do you figure out what the best stuff even is?

I posted that question on my blog and got a most insightful response from my 85-year-old grandfather who lives in Ohio and is apparently still cool enough to blog. His no-nonsense approach, learned through decades of successful sales, management and business experience, got right to the point.

“Dave, business practices have not changed much over time,” he said. “The best advice I can give you is that you have to learn to separate the chaff from the wheat. Without new business coming in, everything else is inconsequential! So that must be uppermost in your mind at all times. I know you have a million and one things to do, but somehow they will get done.”

So there you have it. Nothing else matters if you don’t have clients (or customers). What a novel idea. Of course, you should make sure you are taking good care of the clients you already have, but I think from his perspective that is a given. Creating a revolving door doesn’t get you anywhere.

Being a smart businessperson means staying in business – something that is a whole lot easier when someone is buying what you’re selling. And while there are at least a million other things we can be doing, we must keep new business coming in and let the rest take care of itself.

Strengthening relationships with current customers is the easiest and most effective way to increase your sales. The old adage that it is five times more expensive to gain a new client than retain a current client may be difficult for you to quantify, but it is certainly true in principle.

It just makes sense. Is it harder to convince a new person that you are worthy of their trust or remind a former customer of the positive experience they had even years earlier? Not only are current customers more likely to come back for more, they also are your best sales reps. The longer a person has used your services or purchased your products, the greater their loyalty and motivation to tells others about you.

People like referring their friends to people they have done business with. It makes us feel good to share a great tree guy or IT specialist and for our friends to also have a positive experience with them. Everybody looks good, and that kind of networking can gain serious momentum – especially if it enters the digital realm.

So while advertising for new customers is always important, don’t forget to pay special attention to the group that holds the greatest potential of all – the people you already know, and more importantly, already know you.